Passionate About the Portland area
and the Moms Who Live Here

You’re Not A Failure If Your Socks Don’t Match

Since becoming a mom I stopped caring whether or not my socks match. Frankly, I haven’t the time nor patience after doing everyone else’s laundry! Isn’t that typical? We are used to putting our tiny humans’ needs before our own. Motherhood is forcing me to care less about stuff that doesn’t matter and redefine failure. After all, we have much more important things to worry about.


You’re not a failure if your socks don’t match. 

Socks are the worst part of doing laundry and everyone knows it! A few years ago, premom me put my husband’s socks in the fire pit and burned them. He got all new socks. That’s right. I’m your crazy neighbor who burned her husband’s socks. AND I’LL DO IT AGAIN. Very cathartic. 

Socks don’t match: -1 point. Burning Husband’s socks: +50 points. I am scorekeeper in a game that only other moms understand!

You’re not a failure if your kids’ socks don’t match, either.

One of my kids freaks out about his socks. If the seam rubs his toes a certain way, he will completely lose his mind, yank them BOTH off, and yell in protest. It’s super awesome when you’re in a hurry to get somewhere, too. 

Kid: +1. Socks: +2. Me: -9

We must do some mental recalibration when it comes to our ideas of success and failure if we want to maintain the last shred of sanity we are hanging onto. What matters most? Are your children loved and cared for? Before parenthood I couldn’t even keep a houseplant alive. So the fact my children are doing great is SUCCESS in my book. No one’s bangs look like Zooey Deschanel. No one’s eyeliner is winged as sharp as Adele’s. We must start using realistic measuring tools, which starts by simply doing what you can

Who cares if you’ve put three cans of dry shampoo in your hair this week? Wait, did you even BRUSH your hair? You don’t even know, and guess what? It’s going to be okay. You’re okay. And while you’re busy loving that crazy family of yours, remember to show yourself some love, too, by not beating yourself up over dumb things like whether your socks match. Because you’re not a failure if your socks don’t match.

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