Praising the Peaceful Warrior on Armed Forces Day

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May 21 is Armed Forces Day, and Memorial Day is less than two weeks away. When people honor the sacrifices military families make on these holidays, they generally think about loss of life or limb, but even the soldiers who haven’t been physically injured or killed make sacrifices. I know, because my father was in the Navy for the first half of my life.

My dad sacrificed the possibility of establishing stability, friendships, and a home when his civilian friends were doing just that. He sacrificed his health, developing chronic conditions that have plagued him for most of his adult life. He sacrificed sleep to the nightmares that wake him, believing he is still under fire in Vietnam. He sacrificed time with his family, missing milestones that other dads take for granted.

He didn’t make these sacrifices because of a dedication to war, but out of his love for peace. As a military chaplain, my father helped vulnerable young soldiers and their families navigate the challenges of separation from friends and family. He helped young couples move through anger and talk about their fears. He comforted young children who missed their deployed parents. He talked down soldiers ready to take their own lives because they were so sure their situations would never improve.memorial-day

My dad answered the call to duty not because he didn’t have choices, but because he felt he was called to serve his fellow soldiers and their dependents. He was a counselor, a commanding officer, and sometimes a father-figure to the soldiers in his care. He was an unofficial ambassador to the countries he visited, showing respect for diverse cultures, and greeting his travels with curiosity and openness, instead of a single-minded belief that America is the best country on earth. He was a role model to countless young men and women who were finding their way, and he guided them with compassion and encouragement.

Of course my dad is special to me, but he also exemplifies many of the men and women serving in the armed forces. They sacrifice for us, and are sometimes ridiculed for it. I’ve heard of soldiers in uniform being berated in the grocery store or exiled in their communities. Some are blamed for the behavior of their comrades who have abused and disrespected the power and anonymity of a uniform.

I wish we lived in a world where these kinds of sacrifices weren’t necessary, but the truth of it is, conflicts flare up and burn on all over the world, and we rely on soldiers like my dad to quell the fires.

So on this Armed Forces Day, I salute the peaceful warriors whose sacrifices we often take for granted; those ordinary people who heard the call to serve and gave up their security to ensure security for someone else. Thank you for your service.

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Kendra
Aside from being a writer, Kendra is a Birth Trauma Doula at KarysMa Birth, where she helps moms find their joy after birth trauma. A former middle school English and theatre teacher, she has an insatiable love for learning and a flair for the dramatic. Among the best moments of her life, she counts marrying her husband Steve during a dream rainbow wedding, planning a princess picnic on the beach with her eight year old daughter Karys, giving birth to her one year old daughter Saryn in the middle of a blizzard, and sitting on stage with Glennon Doyle. A Navy brat for the first 13 years of her life, Kendra settled in Virginia for eighteen years before she was finally ready to move again, relocating to Portland in 2014. You can find her work on Portland Moms Blog, The La Leche League Blog, and The Not Your Average Mom Project, as well as the hard drive of her computer.