Passionate About the Portland area
and the Moms Who Live Here

Drowning in the Pressure of Motherhood

The pressures of motherhood are real, and some days I feel like I’m drowning in all the expectations. As moms we multi-task, balance schedules and do our best to keep everyone happy. I continually have to reevaluate my life when I feel the pressures (that I put on myself) to be a perfect wife and mom. In trying to please everyone I easily overbook my schedule and over-commit. As a result, I become more impatient with my son’s innocent mistakes and accidents. The expectations compound, I become more frustrated with his energy, and lose my cool more than I’d like to admit. Suddenly, the unspoken pressures I feel get transferred onto his tiny shoulders.

Pressure of Motherhood

We are inundated with advice, information, and the latest research on what to feed our kids, the most effective discipline, and the perfect homemade DIY salve. We keep trying and striving in hopes that tweaking this or changing that will make them calm, well-behaved, athletic, and top-of-their-class kids. I love a good Pinterst DIY project and look forward to the day we are involved in sports, but with all that also comes a lot of pressure.

Pressure on them, and pressure on us.

Most days I wonder if I’m getting any of this mom stuff right. It’s difficult and tiring. And I know that I’m not the only mom that feels overwhelmed with the pressures and expectations. We all have stories where someone scolded us for packing our kids PB&J in a Ziploc instead of a BPA free container.

If we aren’t beating ourselves up, someone else will.

As I grow hungrier for reassurance and crankier from unsolicited advice, I realize it’s time to simplify our schedule and examine the opinions I’m listening to. I may think what I need is another parenting book or class, but honestly, I know the answer to my doubts.

I know he is just fine and is right where he needs to be academically and socially. 

I know what he needs and when he is getting sick or overly tired. I know when he needs less chaos, less stimulation, and a break from play dates. Sometimes we enjoy an outing a lot more when it’s just the two of us rather than trying to meet up with friends. Sometimes we just need to stay home, and behavioral issues are simply because he is wiped out.

A day “off” usually fixes a lot of problems. 

We both sometimes need a few days spent at home where we aren’t rushing out the door, when he can just play and be a kid. Where I can relax and his behavior is so much better. When I’m not shushing him or constantly telling him to quiet down. I am less frustrated and he can be the loud, active little boy that he is. I realize there are times when he has to sit through a meeting with me or be quiet, but asking that of him on a daily basis, running here and there is just too much.

So I canceled a few commitments and decided to approach this summer a little differently. Simplified and okay with less chaos and fewer plans. A little less doing, a little less running around, and a lot less pressure. Hopefully that will help us enjoy our time together this summer!

 

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