Why I’m Not Getting a Father’s Day Gift for My Husband

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Some of us are easy to shop for. Slap some paint on a tiny hand, smoosh it against a piece of paper, and voila! Homemade art gift just for mama! (My fridge totally looks like a preschool art gallery.) And while I’m sure my husband loves our daughter’s handprints almost as much as I do, I somehow doubt that’s what he would like for Father’s Day.

father's day gift husband

As adults, we buy what we want and/or need throughout the year when we want and/or need it, right? So, when a holiday arrives, it can feel overwhelming to find the perfect gift you know they’ll love, but didn’t know they needed. I mean, I married this guy, I should be able to get him something that encapsulates how I appreciate the things he does for our family, right? Especially for those Fathery-type things he does. But somehow, I sit here knowing I will end up buying him nothing. Nada. Zilch.

In the past, I have gotten him things varying from cards, candy and treats, to actual gifts. But this time around, I’m going to forgo the actual gift because he can get himself that Breaking Bad themed doormat anytime he chooses, if he really wants one. So, as I mentally berate myself for not getting my husband a gift, it hits me! I’m just not going to get him anything.

Don’t get me wrong. I want to let him know that I love him, appreciate him, and think that as dads go, he is the bees knees and the cat’s pajamas. But, as I learned from the 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman, we all tend to love others the way we would like to be loved, and it’s not always interchangeable with what someone else needs.

So which of these languages can I translate into love for my husband this Father’s Day? I think I’m going to have to bust out “acts of service” for him. This means stuff like cleaning his car, letting him sleep in, and giving him back scratches.

On Father’s Day when he sleeps in I hope he feels rested, and knows I appreciate his hard work. When I give him those back scratches, I hope he thinks of how much I love him because he knows I really dislike scratching other people. (It gives me the heebie-jeebies, but I do it for him because of that aforementioned love.) And on Monday, June 20, when he sits in his clean car on his way to work I hope he’ll know that I am thankful for how he supports our family.

What gift will you give (or not give) a dad in your life?

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Jennifer C.
In her lifetime, Jennifer has lived in the North, East, South, and West of the continental U.S. But the Pacific Northwest stole her heart when she was stationed in Washington with her husband who was in the Navy. Jennifer and Jeff have known each other for 16 years, since middle school, but they have been together for 5.5 years and married for 5 of those. They have an adorably rambunctious and frighteningly intelligent 3.5 year old daughter named Athena Rae. Athena was recently diagnosed as being on the Autism Spectrum. So, Jennifer and Jeff are learning the ropes kind of as they go, as they delve into the world of being special needs parents and advocates for their daughter. Jennifer is a stay at home mom who loves to read and write in any free time that might come her way throughout her days filled with her typical Momming errands and appointments. You can find her personal blog at MommyKeepsItReal.com

1 COMMENT

  1. This is so good Jennifer! I love your reference to the 5 love languages and so often fall into the “gift giving” mode for people when that’s not what really speaks to them (just because it speaks to me). A much needed reminder for me to spend some shoulder to shoulder time with him on Sunday!

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