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The Lego Vortex

We have dabbled in Legos, testing the waters to see if the boys are interested or ready for it. Now that the boys are a bit older and on the precipice of kindergarten, their dad has lost his ever-loving mind. He says it’s for the kids, but he’s lying to himself, God and everyone. He’s been waiting for this day, secretly longing to trade in those big blocks for that intricate, interlocking brick system. You know the Lego movie? Did I marry the dad? Maybe? Hmm.

Legos

I joined Weight Watchers, which is basically AA for chubby people, but that is another story for another time. My husband has turned my WW meeting nights into “boy time” which has become Lego night. 

It starts on the toy aisle at Target. You think, “oh, this is on sale – such a deal!” But that ill-fated Target trip was like a gateway drug. Next you’re checking out the toy store. Then you take your little crumb-snatchers to the Lego Store, until finally you take a family trip to Lego Land. You have a problem. You don’t even know it.

Ever step on a Lego? It is the worst pain you’ll ever feel in your life. How can something so small send shooting pain from the bottom of your foot, up through your spine? Watch your language in front of the children. Don’t need them repeating on the playground what they heard you say when you stepped on said Lego. 

The unused train table in our play room is now home to the Lego multiverse. I marvel at this because the boys never really got into the trains, so I’m impressed that my husband repurposed it for his latest obsession. I mean, our kids’ latest interest. YEAH RIGHT. 

I have mocked the man mercilessly for the Legos, but since they started, I get so much done. I mean, I use the bathroom uninterrupted. I even do the dishes, or cook without a child underfoot. I ran out of excuses to fold the laundry because I even had a few minutes to do that! Frankly, it’s beginning to freak me out. I’m so used to having zero personal space that I’m almost, dare I say, lonely? DOES ANYBODY EVEN NEED ME ANYMORE?!

I came home from the WW meeting, greeted by my handsome brood and their Lego projects that they were so proud to show off. It hit me: they’re BIG kids now. Someone stop this growing up thing. I’m caught up in this Lego vortex and I’m afraid I’m going to blink and we’ll be packing for college. I can’t even. 

I gave my husband Legos for Father’s Day. He loved every minute he spent putting them together with his boys. He is such a great dad that I almost feel bad teasing him. ALMOST.

Who’s going to Brick Fest? Maybe I’ll see you there!

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2 Responses to The Lego Vortex

  1. Kathleen
    Kathleen July 3, 2017 at 10:33 pm #

    Hilarious!

    • Jenny
      Jenny July 3, 2017 at 10:42 pm #

      Thank you!!!!